In Theaters: April 12th, 2013
Runtime: 1 hour 25 minutes (85 minutes)
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language, some drug material, partial nudity, comic violence and gore.
This
Ain't
Funny
At
All
:(
In Scary Movie 5, happily married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their newborn baby Aiden home from the hospital. But when the chaos expands into Jody's job as a ballet dancer and Dan's career as an Ape researcher, they realize they're family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it's too late.
It's supposed to be funny, but you'd have an easier time reading a zombie's pulse than you would finding a single good laugh ...
Critic Score: 1/4
For the art-house crowd, who may, I suppose, stumble drunk into the wrong theater after too much Chardonnay, there are nods to Black Swan and 127 Hours.
Critic Score: 2.5/5
A film composed almost entirely of jokes that were much funnier when you read them on Twitter years ago.
Critic Score: D
Like so much of this whole series, the mere mention of a familiar pop culture figure or title is supposed to be hilarious.
Critic Score: 1/5
Scary Movie 5 must be some kind of psychological experiment. Perhaps the filmmakers sat in a lab, rubbing their temples while wondering aloud how awful they could make a movie and still score at the box office.
Critic Score: 0/4
A hate crime against cinema, a ringing indictment of the depths commercialism will go to in search of the lowest common denominator.
Critic Score: .5/10
You know that friend of yours, the one who can't tell even the simplest joke? Watching him struggle for 85 minutes would still be funnier than this movie.
[A] numbingly inane if cheerfully up-to-the-minute new entry in a franchise presumed to have breathed its last seven years ago.
Put it this way, there's a spoof of "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" in which gorillas throw their feces at the wall to see if it sticks, and you can't help wondering if this is actual documentary footage of the script meetings.
Critic Score: 1/4
Spoofing movies ranging from Black Swan to Mama to Paranormal Activity, this installment of the profitable series is woefully, painfully unfunny.
©2013 The Weinstein Company