Funrahi Movie Reviews

Dark Shadows

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Runtime: 1 hour 53 minutes (113 minutes)

Rated PG-13 for comic horror violence, sexual content, some drug use, language and smoking.

Genres: Comedy, Fantasy

Its

A

Mess!

Watch

It

For

Depp.

2.5 out of 5

Dark Shadows Review

What's Good:
Johnny Depp's Performance, The VFX (Visual Effects) in the movie are appreciable.
What's Bad:
In-consistent flow of the movie, Lack of direction and screenplay.
Verdict:
This movie is far thin and low compared to other Johnny Depp movies.
Watch or Not:
Watch it for Depp, If you're a serious Depp Fan. Don't forget it came with a word of caution.

Audience Ratings for Dark Shadows

-11.0%
202 Ratings
1 2 3 4 5
hate it don't like it it's ok it's good it's great

Plot Summary

In the year 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins, with young son Barnabas, set sail from Liverpool, England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas (Johnny Depp) has the world at his feet--or at least the town of Collinsport, Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor, Barnabas is rich, powerful and an inveterate playboy...until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green). A witch, in every sense of the word, Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then burying him alive. Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better, each harboring their own dark secrets. Matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer) has called upon live-in psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), to help with her family troubles. Also residing in the manor is Elizabeth's ne'er-do-well brother, Roger Collins, (Jonny Lee Miller); her rebellious teenage daughter Carolyn Stoddard (Chloe Moretz); and Roger's precocious 10-year-old son, David Collins (Gulliver McGrath). The mystery extends beyond the family, to caretaker Willie Loomis, played by Jackie Earle Haley, and David's new nanny, Victoria Winters, played by Bella Heathcote.

Critics Reviews for Dark Shadows

38 Critics like this movie.
Reviews Counted: 42 | Positive Review: 16 | Negative Review: 26 | Average Rating: 2.8/5

"Dark Shadows" isn't among Mr. Burton's most richly realized works, but it's very enjoyable, visually sumptuous and, despite its lugubrious source material and a sporadic tremor of violence, surprisingly effervescent.
Critic Score: 4/5

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Manohla Dargis
Manohla Dargis
New York Times

Dark Shadows is a mess, and it's unclear whether its bizarre recipe of comedy, campy horror, and gothic melodrama will satisfy anyone, regardless of their familiarity with the source material.
Critic Score: 2/4

May 9, 2012 Full Review
James Berardinelli
James Berardinelli
ReelViews

In a time when even the most accomplished genre movies have the fingerprints of focus group-happy execs all over them, the relatively unmitigated quirk of Dark Shadows is worth celebrating.
Critic Score: 4/5

May 9, 2012 Full Review
Glenn Kenny
Glenn Kenny
MSN Movies

Bipolar film that's equal parts comedy and horror show, with neither element particularly effective.
Critic Score: 2/5

May 9, 2012 Full Review
Richard Roeper
Richard Roeper
Richard Roeper.com

Stumbles blindly along with Barnabas for most of its overlong 113 minutes, leaving viewers in the dark as to its intentions.
Critic Score: 1/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Peter Howell
Peter Howell
Toronto Star

Burton's visuals are a sumptuous treat, as is Depp's unerring sense of mischief - but, after a fierce and funny start, Dark Shadows simply spins its wheels.
Critic Score: 2.5/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Peter Travers
Peter Travers
Rolling Stone

Burton's offbeat montages are amusing, but the story's slow start and overblown conclusion make Dark Shadows half a good movie.
Critic Score: 2.5/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Claudia Puig
Claudia Puig
USA Today

This is not so much a coherent movie as it is a long, expensive joke in search of a purpose.

May 15, 2012 Full Review
Anthony Lane
Anthony Lane
New Yorker

Mostly Dark Shadows is silly when we're trained to expect slightly richer fun from Burton and Depp.
Critic Score: 2.5/4

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Lisa Kennedy
Lisa Kennedy
Denver Post

Fans of Depp's past collusions with Burton will find their rewards along the way. But there's a perfunctory vibe to the goings on, a weariness amid the weirdness.

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Christopher Orr
Christopher Orr
The Atlantic

Clearly, they made the movie they wanted to make. It's just not the movie this "Dark Shadows" fan hoped to see.
Critic Score: 2/4

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Stephen Whitty
Stephen Whitty
Newark Star-Ledger

Dark Shadows' only meaningful relationship is between Depp and his audience. He's a persona now, no longer an actor.
Critic Score: 2/4

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Stephen Cole
Stephen Cole
Globe and Mail

How bad is "Dark Shadows"? It makes you long for a "Twilight" movie. That's bad.
Critic Score: D+

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Tom Long
Tom Long
Detroit News

"Dark Shadows'' certainly has its moments, especially when Barnabas and Angelique hilariously wreck her office during a surreal, CGI-fueled, PG-rated tryst.
Critic Score: 2.5/4

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Lou Lumenick
Lou Lumenick
New York Post

At once a brash, strutting pop culture pastiche and gloomy exercise in self-cannibalizing nostalgia, "Dark Shadows" is depressing on myriad levels.
Critic Score: 1.5/4

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Ann Hornaday
Ann Hornaday
Washington Post

Can't decide whether it's a parody, a horror comedy, an atmospheric melodrama, or a tedious bucket of crap. Eventually it chooses the last one.
Critic Score: D

May 11, 2012 Full Review
Eric D. Snider
Eric D. Snider
Film.com

When you consider all the pitfalls avoided, and all the laughs and pleasures it provides along the way, "Dark Shadows" is a satisfying and skillful effort.
Critic Score: 3/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Mick LaSalle
Mick LaSalle
San Francisco Chronicle

Burton's offbeat montages are amusing, but the story's slow start and overblown conclusion make Dark Shadows half a good movie.
Critic Score: 2.5/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Peter Rainer
Peter Rainer
Christian Science Monitor

An uncertain combination of elements that unsuccessfully tries to be half-scary, half-funny and all strange...
Critic Score: 2.5/5

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Kenneth Turan
Kenneth Turan
Los Angeles Times

"Dark Shadows" is amusing, in fits and spurts, and sure to make tons of money, but terribly familiar and fatigued.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Joe Morgenstern
Joe Morgenstern
Wall Street Journal

[Burton] and Depp, both avowed childhood fans of the original series, seem to be in their element and having a grand old time.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Dana Stevens
Dana Stevens
Slate

Handsome, vaguely true to the old soap opera, and inert.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Bob Mondello
Bob Mondello
NPR

"Dark Shadows" opens promisingly, downshifts after 30 minutes, and sputters into a meandering, momentum-free mess.
Critic Score: 2/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Colin Covert
Colin Covert
Minneapolis Star Tribune

The script by Seth Grahame-Smith is witless and meandering - and I wouldn't mind the witless so much if it moved, or the meandering if it were droll.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
David Edelstein
David Edelstein
NPR

The film's biggest disappointment is the utter lack of chemistry between Depp and either Green or Heathcote.
Critic Score: C-

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Joy Tipping
Joy Tipping
Dallas Morning News

Whether it works is a matter of taste, but the fact that Burton's revisit unearths enough fun while feeling like four films in one is testament to the source's seductive bloodline.
Critic Score: 3/5

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Joe Neumaier
Joe Neumaier
New York Daily News

"Dark Shadows" doesn't add anything new to the genre, but it's a surprisingly high-spirited and genuinely black-humored comedy.
Critic Score: 3/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Rafer Guzman
Rafer Guzman
Newsday

A nutty romp that's as much about celebrating a significant blip in the pop-cult continuum as it is a tale of bloodsucking, of grudge-holding, and the stress involved in maintaining a 200-room, two-century-old house.
Critic Score: 3/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Steven Rea
Steven Rea
Philadelphia Inquirer

Tim Burton is like a billionaire fanboy who buys Bela Lugosi's Dracula cape: he has a perfect right to it, but that doesn't mean it looks good on him.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
J. R. Jones
J. R. Jones
Chicago Reader

Tim Burton has got his groove back.
Critic Score: 3/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Ty Burr
Ty Burr
Boston Globe

Attention must be paid to movie allure, in a star like Depp and his current harem.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Richard Corliss
Richard Corliss
TIME Magazine

"Dark Shadows" offers potent atmosphere and delirious '70s fashions and hilarious gags and some really terrific performances, none better than Pfeiffer's triumphant return to the screen as a pitch-perfect family matriarch.

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Andrew O'Hehir
Andrew O'Hehir
Salon.com

"Dark Shadows" illustrates the fine line in a pop reboot between "relaxed" and "lazy."
Critic Score: 2/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Michael Phillips
Michael Phillips
Chicago Tribune

It offers wonderful things, but they aren't what's important. It's as if Burton directed at arm's length, unwilling to find juice in the story.
Critic Score: 2.5/4

May 10, 2012 Full Review
Roger Ebert
Roger Ebert
Chicago Sun-Times

"Shadows" leaves us with the sense that this isn't the last time we'll be seeing Barnabas and company. One can only hope that next time they'll work out the kinks.
Critic Score: 2/4

May 9, 2012 Full Review
Randy Myers
Randy Myers
San Jose Mercury News

Dark Shadows, a kinky love triangle, is true, in its fashion, to the spirit of the old soap opera. Yet its real love affair is between Johnny Depp and the audience who's still hooked on seeing him get his freak on.
Critic Score: B+

May 9, 2012 Full Review
Owen Gleiberman
Owen Gleiberman
Entertainment Weekly

All dressed up and no place to go.
Critic Score: 2/5

May 9, 2012 Full Review
Bill Goodykoontz
Bill Goodykoontz
Arizona Republic

The cheesy and cheap but beloved TV program takes an affectionate ribbing in the film, which has more in common with "That '70s Show" than its actual source.
Critic Score: 3/4

May 9, 2012 Full Review
Roger Moore
Roger Moore
McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Dark Shadows sinks its teeth half-way into its potentially meaty material but hesitates to go all the way.

May 8, 2012 Full Review
Todd McCarthy
Todd McCarthy
Hollywood Reporter

Less a resurrection than a clumsy desecration.

May 8, 2012 Full Review
Nick Pinkerton
Nick Pinkerton
Village Voice

The film itself takes awhile to get going as it establishes all those characters and back stories. Once there, it seems to have nowhere to go -- out of the shadows or into the light, it doesn't really matter either way.

May 8, 2012 Full Review
Christy Lemire
Christy Lemire
Associated Press

Few director-star partnerships are as consistently eccentric or malleable as that of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, but even loyalists will detect an odor of mothballs clinging to their eighth bigscreen collaboration.

May 8, 2012 Full Review
Justin Chang
Justin Chang
Variety

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